(Insert something intresting) [13 Jan 2005|11:51pm] Alright here I sit at 11:51 pm. Today Berto's alarm didn't go off so we missed our 1st training and workday. At first I was pissed off but sometimes alarms do fail. Tomorrow we have another one at 11 till 3 so we'll see how that goes. Lately i've been down alot more than usual, and I can't offer a reason. Once I get a car i'm never going to be home, ever I swear. I have so many jobs that want me for my skills and dedication it's crazy. The only thing holding me back right now in life is not having a car. You say don't bitch but do something about it. Well I am and have been trying, what have you done? Most of the people I know have had some help or cars outright given to them (some with stipulations) but none the less more help than I've gotten. I'm 19 years old 20 years in April, and no real progress in my life.I want to go to college, I want to be a police officer, I want to have a family. I hate my Dad, don't get me wrong he provides but I hate him. He has a truck that costed him 8 thousand dollars atleast and he can't even give me a loan. Lately i've been thinking about what i've done so wrong in the past with girls. I talked to Danielle the other day and she said nothing really. It was nice to talk to an ex and have her tell me that i'm not a bad person when all these other people are painting me out to be one. David, kindly but out of my life and don't have your little lackies with no lives threaten and harass me anymore. I'm not going to do anything to them. But let me tell you if they EVER touch me or anyone I know or am with again I will deal with them accordingly. That's right you scumbag.... I know it was you that told that person to try and start shit with me and my friend at the mall. Get a life I mean really if you're still hung up on me having banged the shit out of your girl you have a problem. Ok back to other things of more important than shit. I worked last night with Jamie Cate and Bj at the highschool which was a change of pace. Then today I helped Cate and her brother out in his apartment (he's the landlord) which was fun and got me out for a few. Random thought: What would happen if all my ex's any myself were in a room togeather? I think that's going to be my away message and some options listed. I'm off to shower and sleep maybe? Oh... yea another thing. I can't sleep that well unless there is a female in the bed with me (nothing sexual needs to happen) but for some reason I can fall asleep really fast and long like that. Alone I can't post comment

AFK [07 Jan 2005|11:46pm] [ mood | blank ] AFK, common to the internet world as "Away from my Keyboard" Why did I title this entry AFK you ask? Because I give up, and apperently I give up with everything (never said I didn't) I failed at school, I fail at relationships and I fail at life in general. I've taken alot and done alot my entire life, even sometimes for people I hardly knew. If you're reading this chances are you're a friend of mine and at one point you could have been that person. Everyone that knows me can tell my mood by my eyes, normaly bright and full of life and energy. Those bright eyes have dimmed and lost the energy in them. I guess you can say life won and I get the picture i'm not wanted around by many. (Thanks to the few that seem to care) I must be a horrible person arn't I? Must be if noone calls on a friday,saturday or sunday to hang out. Hell noone calls me to hang out ever really. I need a car to get a job to get money to get a life. But I need money to get the car to get the job to get the life. It's a no win thingI think i'm going to drop off the face of the planet for a week or two... see if anyone notices or cares enough to call come over or atleast im my name. Who knows maybe I just wont call and alienate myself from everyone and just leave this place. Also this is the truth about my life fuck you if you think different I don't care, nor will anything anyone says change a thing. The people that care live hours away but the people "closest" to me can't even make an effort. In close any attempts to contact me will fail, leave a # if you absolutely need me and if I feel like it or I remotely give a flying fuck about you I will call YOU. Good-bye...for now "friends" 8 comments|post comment

Thoughts [04 Jan 2005|11:07pm] [ mood | depressed ] Today, much like any otherday. I did nothing, nothing at all. I really have no life, no car, and nothing to do. It upsets me to no end that my dad is such a cheap ass. He bought himself an 18 thousand dollar yes $18,000 truck. HE NEVER FUCKING USES, and refuses to help me with a car I would use EVERY FUCKING DAY. I would get a life I would get a job. I've applied everywhere within walking distance, on the bus lines and even alittle more of a walk than I would like to do. Noone is hireing. I have an intreview this coming tuesday but it all rides on if one of my friends takes the jobs, because I have no ride anywhere. Berto has been a life save many a time. He's just about my only way out of this house unless it's on foot. I feel bad for putting so many miles on his car and give him as much gas $ and other $ as I can afford. -sigh- I sit here and hate life because i've tried so hard and gotten no where and other people who try less have so much more. But I refuse to let life win, i'm stubborn and never loose nor am I ever wrong. One day I will make something of myself, more than anyone thinks I will. I am a hard worker and dedicated to the right cause. I need a job, I want a new computer, I need a car. I want, I want a life and to go out not to get smashed or cause trouble but to have a good time. It seems everytime I ask, people make excuses or avoid it or have something else to do. With money comes friends right? I'm just not happy doing nothing by myself everyday i'm really not. I'm not shooting for a pity fest and telling the truth can't be held agaisnt me. You don't need to read this nor do you need to like it. If you don't like what is truth don't try to tell me to change it or do something with my life when you never took notice till after you read this. I'm prob going to end up posting my lj link in my profile and let all the people who like,hate and dispise me read it. Deal with it 1 comment|post comment

[16 Jul 2004|11:11am] Which of your LJ friends is secretly plotting your demise?? LJ Username Beware of catehime # of days until they get you 3 This quiz by quitetheshow - Taken 3122 Times. </a> New - Dating Advice written by YOU! post comment

Apply here [14 Jul 2004|12:03am] Dammit I need a girlfriend.... Physco's need not apply Any takers? post comment

Locked [02 Jul 2004|12:47am] People this is a friends only... meaning 99% of the entries are hidden unless you get an account and then ask me to add you as my friend. This is so stalkers, David the idiot, Carla the liar, Cindy the slut and others cannot read this.... fucking get an account and ask me to add you 1 comment|post comment

Long [23 Jun 2004|03:11am] So I saw Lan last night (Longs little sister) He'll be home November 11th. I really can't wait. Long is one/ if not my best friend. + Waiting for the asian man post comment

Randomness [19 Jun 2004|03:57pm] Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan Your name is... Your kiss is... breath taking Your hugs are... friendly Your eyes... sparkle like the stars Your touch is... the only thing I desire Your smell is... beautiful Your smile is... hypnotising Your love is... eternal Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen! post comment

Berto + Long [17 Jun 2004|01:02am] Ok... you know you have no life when your day high light was watering the lawn. I try to hang out with my "friends" and they most always seem too busy to give me the time of day. All but one really. Pablo Z, my Salvadorian friend. He is just about the only one that shows up and wants to hang out. He doesn't expect me to have money or beer or anything. But you know what, we trade paying on when we do hang out. Sometimes he covers my ass others I cover his. Friends do this. Friends invite friends places or just come over randomly. Maybe I need to get out more and get more friends. Nah..... I know one of the best is in jail. Long Le. I don't think i've written about Long ever, so hey here I go. Well with Long comes Berto so here is Long and Berto. I was a freshmen at ehhs, no friends, never hugged a girl, very uncomfortable around people. Then one day I met Roberto, aka Rican man. We had electricity class and English and a few more I think. I really don't remember.  Haha we were paired up with Tenny and Mark for groups in Electricity and so it began. Berto offering Tenny some soder that was still hot, Tenny burning his fingers trying to grab it and myself just laughing. So slowly I gave him my trust and friendship, and he introduced me to a secritive person, the 1st asian guy I'd ever really been friends with (Sorry  Quang, I didn't know you really) and the one who taught me everything about computers. Before I met Long my computers all had cases and never broke, but went super slow. I never knew how to fix anything. If it told me to reinstall windows I would sit batch and scratch my head. Counter what? and Half life were all alien to me. Slowly Long introduced me to these things and that is how I know what I know now. Roberto and Long, you might say broke me out of my shell. The one where I had no friends, no self confidence and basically no life. They helped me more then they or anyone can or will ever know. So many memories, funny moments, and moments to come. I always felt we 3 had the best time when we were togeather, even if it was getting in trouble. Thank you Berto, Thank you Long. With out you I would still be that kid noone knew, no friends, no ability to talk to girls, and just not Sparks. Long when you get out we will hang out and not cause trouble... as much. + Pablo thank you for being the only real true friend right now.   Sparks   + Find me friends?.... 1 comment|post comment

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